Seriously.. My work is a reflection of what i am.. how can I not be interested in what I am doing. There is a level of passion that is required to commit to such a thing as a PhD and complete it. Why am i not able to do it? Is it that I do not feel passionately about what I am doing? I want people to say the same thing to me.. that I am quite passionate about what I am doing. Why.. why don't I feel that. I need to definitely work harder.. focus on myself and nothing more for the moment. Focus on working towards finishing my thesis and publishing papers.. that is the first step. What shud I do now?
I urgently need to get rid of this feeling that I need approval or need to be doing something that u also love. why is that so hard to let go? as u said.. I shud stick to what I know. and not bother about anything else. But thats not who i am.. my heart is not driven by what this is.. I want to be that person. I want to be... i guess.. I dont know what I want to be.. but i definitely dont want to be someone whom u scorn upon. I myself have no idea why ur opinion plays such an important role in my life.
Tears rolling in my eyes.. im totally utterly helpless.. I want ur suggestions.. i want to know wat u think. but i guess its my fault that u are closed off from me. what do I do.
Was it totally ignorance or arrogance that I was oblivious to how closed off u were. Im torn.. and I dont know whom to talk to or where to go.
I urgently need to get rid of this feeling that I need approval or need to be doing something that u also love. why is that so hard to let go? as u said.. I shud stick to what I know. and not bother about anything else. But thats not who i am.. my heart is not driven by what this is.. I want to be that person. I want to be... i guess.. I dont know what I want to be.. but i definitely dont want to be someone whom u scorn upon. I myself have no idea why ur opinion plays such an important role in my life.
Tears rolling in my eyes.. im totally utterly helpless.. I want ur suggestions.. i want to know wat u think. but i guess its my fault that u are closed off from me. what do I do.
Was it totally ignorance or arrogance that I was oblivious to how closed off u were. Im torn.. and I dont know whom to talk to or where to go.
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